I often get asked for advice regarding babies.
I have 4 children and to first time mums that (to them) makes me something of an expert.
I’m really not.
I have a fantastically supportive husband, who follows my lead.
When our first son was born, his input was minimal.
The number of times I’ve told people that and heard a sharp intake of breath is now countless.
But, that was our agreement.
I needed to find my own feet and as he rightly pointed out, I was going to be the primary carer for our child and subsequent children, so therefore his input would be on an ‘outside working’ hours basis….
Now while that has worked for us, and 9 years on he still defers to me, that doesn’t work for everyone.
It worked because I breastfed and letting Chris sleep meant that on those odd days when I’d got to the end of my tether, I could hand a crying baby over to a person who wasn’t also frazzled and was mentally able to step in when my nerves were shot.
It meant that only one person was teaching our child when and where and how to sleep.
There are times when 2 heads are better than one, but even though he was very anti me adopting a strict routine, allowing me space meant that in the long run, we’ve both benefited.
I don’t always get it right, we laughingly tell people that we made our mistakes with our 1st, fixed this problems with the 2nd, fine tuned it with our 3rd and mastered it with our 4th!
It’s not that far from the truth and when people grumble that I’m ‘lucky’ that my children slept and sleep through the night from a young age, I don’t put it down to luck, I put it down to hard work, and a sense of entitlement after 4 babies worth of trial and error!
So no, I’m not an expert. I’m just a mum who found a way that worked for me, fitted our life and made it all worthwhile.