I'm a Mother not a Martyr…

I often get asked for advice regarding babies.

I have 4 children and to first time mums that (to them) makes me something of an expert.

I’m really not.

I have a fantastically supportive husband, who follows my lead.

When our first son was born, his input was minimal.

The number of times I’ve told people that and heard a sharp intake of breath is now countless.

But, that was our agreement.

I needed to find my own feet and as he rightly pointed out, I was going to be the primary carer for our child and subsequent children, so therefore his input would be on an ‘outside working’ hours basis….

Now while that has worked for us, and 9 years on he still defers to me, that doesn’t work for everyone.

It worked because I breastfed and letting Chris sleep meant that on those odd days when I’d got to the end of my tether, I could hand a crying baby over to a person who wasn’t also frazzled and was mentally able to step in when my nerves were shot.

It meant that only one person was teaching our child when and where and how to sleep.

There are times when 2 heads are better than one, but even though he was very anti me adopting a strict routine, allowing me space meant that in the long run, we’ve both benefited.

I don’t always get it right, we laughingly tell people that we made our mistakes with our 1st, fixed this problems with the 2nd, fine tuned it with our 3rd and mastered it with our 4th!

It’s not that far from the truth and when people grumble that I’m ‘lucky’ that my children slept and sleep through the night from a young age, I don’t put it down to luck, I put it down to hard work, and a sense of entitlement after 4 babies worth of trial and error!

So no, I’m not an expert. I’m just a mum who found a way that worked for me, fitted our life and made it all worthwhile.


Luke's 7th birthday!

Comments on: "There is no right or wrong way." (4)

  1. As a mum of 4 I also took over the role of parenting from day one, my husband was in the army when the first 3 were born so I was pretty much on my own most of the time with the children, I set the rules, laid down the law and husband was there when it all became a bit too much. My children range in age from 28 to 14 and I’m proud to say that all of them have grown into wonderful, respectful individuals. Like you, I do not put this down to luck it is down to plain and simple hard work, mostly on my part but also on the part of my husband who agreed from the beginning that my way was the best way 🙂 Jude x @jadlgw

    • Thanks Jude. I thought I had a hard time with a husband who works shifts, being in the army must have made life a lot of hard work for you.

      There’s no luck in parenting in my opinion!!

      S x

  2. You are truly blessed Sam. Sleeping is the one thing I was strict about too, for everyone’s sanity! 😉

    Nic xx

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