I'm a Mother not a Martyr…

I teach my sons how to stand up to bullies and how to deal with nasty comments.

I’m surprised that ITV have let Jason Gardiner back onto a gentle programme such as Dancing on Ice.

Were the ratings that poor that they needed to command press interest by reintroducing someone so clearly lacking in intelligence?

Dancing on Ice is a nice programme.  A gentle viewing on a Sunday evening.  They’re not competing with any other major shows so why do they need to court controversy?

I role play with my children how to react to name calling and load them with phrases such as ‘you’re too stupid to even know my name so don’t even bother speaking to me” and similar, and had someone said they looked like they had the appeal of a walrus, I’d have been proud of any cutting put down they’d have delivered.

I’ve always said to my boys that people who name call, swear and use degrading comments are stupid, and that they’re clearly not intelligent enough to add in appropriate adjectives and therefore aren’t worthy of head space.

If Mr Gardiner cannot express himself in any other way than to call people names, then he too is just as stupid.

ITV, you didn’t need to bring back someone like this, and while he may be right in saying Lauren Goodger was lacking in sex appeal, I hope I’d have been able to enunciate it better than him.

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Comments on: "Dancing on Ice – idiot bullying" (11)

  1. joshuajack said:

    Do you not realise that by teaching your boys to call someone “stupid” is just as bad as what the bullys do? Calling someone stupid is name calling and a VERY degrading word. Maybe you need to think of a new word, one that doesn’t degrade other people.

    • The point I was making Claire is that I teach my children to stand up to bullies, that bullies are ignorant and that they are not stronger, either mentally or physically, than my sons.

      If a kid calls my son a spiteful name, I’d rather give my son the words and phrases he needs to deal with what in fact, amounts to stupidity on the bully’s part.

  2. joshuajack said:

    I am all for children standing up to bullies. However, name calling…especially stupid is just as bad as the bullying itself. I would be truly angry if i found out that anyone had called my child that.

    As an adult i would never call another adult stupid, let alone a child, it’s disrespectful and very damaging just like bullying is. To condone name calling is condoning bullying. I’m sure you would take great offensive if anybody called you or your boys stupid. Very harsh words used here. Bullies are not stupid or show acts of stupidity, they just haven’t been shown the right way to behave or how to treat others.

    Bullying needs to be taken care of, i agree but for me, not in a way where more name calling is used.

    • Or we could look at the point of view that my son IS regularly called names, picked on, perhaps reading other posts on here would enlighten you to that.

      My post is little to do with my children, and mostly to do woth ITV bringing a person onto their show who feels it is appropriate, on peak time national tv, to call a woman a walrus. This man also stated that a British Olympic swimming champion looked like a piece of poo on the ice, as well as other derogatory comments.

      That is the bigger picture surely? That itv are happy to promote such behaviour?

      Bullying another person, be they adult or child is not the behaviour of an intelligent person.

    • And I’m also sure you’d be ‘truly angry’ if you found out that kids were daily picking on your child, and you’d give him every verbal weapon you could think of to help him cope.

  3. Two wrongs will not make it right.

    • Wasn’t suggesting they do John, and TR + teachers are excellent at supporting my yr 3 son. As happened Monday! Better to forearm him with clever retorts than to have to accept that as his ‘lot in life’ though?

  4. Nikola Black said:

    If you don’t like what’s being said on TV, just turn over.

    “I role play with my children how to react to name calling and load them with phrases such as ‘you’re too stupid……….”

    “I’ve always said to my boys that people who name call, swear and use degrading comments are stupid, and that they’re clearly not intelligent enough to add in appropriate adjectives and therefore aren’t worthy of head space.”

    Contradictory. The best way to deal with it would be for your son not to even acknowledge what the other person has said and walk away.

    • My post is highlighting that itv are allowing bullying, not whether I should turn over the channel or not.

      And as a mother to a 7 year old who is regularly excluded from games with his classmates, poked and picked on and bullied by them, he doesn’t have the strength of character at such a young age to just walk away, he needs tools to deal with it.

      I’d rather he and his siblings had the ability to nip the situation in the bud rather than spend years being the kid who keeps his mouth shut and just accepts name calling etc.

      We all remember the child at school who was quiet, tried to ignore the bullies who followed him home from school day after day, trying ro ignore their taunts and name calling. Tried to turn the other cheek and walk away.

      That was me.

      And despite doing what you suggest, ignoring it and walking away, it continued. For years.

      My eldest son only once had name calling, he gave a quick retort to the kids and hasn’t been bullied since.

      • I really don’t understand how you can take issue with a post about teaching your kids to stand up for themselves.

        Calling a bully stupid is NOT the same as being bullied. Bullies ARE stupid. They’re ignorant. They cause pain knowingly, of course they know what’s right and what’s wrong. Walking away from a bully does not teach them anything. How many kids do you hear about who say nothing, are quiet and go home and repeat the cycle day in, day out and then (in drastic cases) end up taking their own lives? It’s easy to say “ignore the bully”, but as a small child it’s very difficult to ignore constant digs and comments. If my child was bullying someone and got called stupid, contrary to taking offense I’d agree!!!

        And seriously…”if you don’t like what’s being said on TV, turn over”??? What about standing up for what’s right instead “Meh, not my problem”?!

      • The stories of children taking their own lives are awful and you’re right, it’s the ones who’ve tried to ignore their bullies who end up in sich desperate situations.

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